If casino advertisements were to be believed, each one would be a glistening palace where beverages flowed freely, blackjacks never ceased, and chips fell from the heavens. But it’s not that easy. There’s enough jargon (what’s a nickel? ), etiquette (don’t celebrate if everyone else loses), and unstated esportsbetting rules (don’t jinx a hot shooter) to make your head spin.

I’ve made stupid mistakes and observed countless others after spending an embarrassing amount of my twenties (both years and money) in casinos. Could you not make the same mistake as me? In a casino, don’t do any of these things.

You’re hoping to win money.

Dispel this notion as soon as possible. There’s a reason no one is launching new Blockbuster franchises these days: there’s no money in it. Casinos, on the other hand, are springing up all over the place. There are about 1,500 in the United States alone, and it’s because they’ve shown to be profitable. Not to be confused with Chris Moneymaker, an inexperienced poker player who revolutionised the game in 2003. Casinos, on the other hand, gain money thanks to something known as the house advantage. Sure, you can win cash, but you won’t if you play long enough.

Getting ready to pay the rent

Possibly a continuation of the initial concept, but with a more egregiously idiotic example. You aren’t Lola from the movie Run Lola Run. However, if you are Lola from Run Lola Run, I appreciated your performance in The Bourne Identity. I’m still not convinced about how you got such a nice haircut after Matt Damon chopped your hair off in the water.

Returning to the ATM

Know how much money you’re willing to spend in a certain amount of time. Bring it to the table, and if you misplace it, head to the bar for a break. You won’t be able to get your money back. “My pacemaker can’t take this,” he kept screaming as he watched a man on a fixed income lose $10,000 in three hours. That’s how a pacemaker is obtained in the first place.

Taking out a loan from a friend

It’s like going back to the ATM, only you won’t be sharing a room with it, and the ATM won’t send you an email next week asking where its money is.

Having to pay for your drinks

If you are, there are only two possibilities: you are either in a casino that does not comp beverages, indicating that you are not in Las Vegas, or you have no idea what you’re doing. If it’s the latter, don’t get your hopes up too high about the kind of place you’re putting your money into. Many states have regulations restricting the distribution of free drinks. If the latter is the case, you’re simply wasting your time and money.

Getting your drink on the table and spilling it

This isn’t a casino-specific blunder. When you spill a drink in a pub, you appear like a jerk. However, spilling your drink in a casino amplifies your folly by a factor of ten: with a simple flick of the wrist, you’ve caused your table to close and everyone at it to relocate to a new lucky table. What about a trip to the casino? You know that both crusty and friendly types despise having to leave the warm chair they’ve been sitting in for hours. Make use of the cupholder.

You haven’t given your waitress a tip.

She doesn’t dress up and carry drinks because she enjoys being addressed as “Honey” and having insurance salesmen in town for a conference ogle her. You can afford to offer her a buck for every drink if you’re willing to lose your money at a table game.

I am not leaving a tip for your dealer.

He doesn’t put on that vest and lug cards around because he enjoys being addressed. You got the joke, right? It doesn’t matter what happens to your bank account, and it would help if you always tip your dealer. Get them in the game with a little bit. They normally pool the money and divide it among the crew. Put a $5 chip up there for the dealer now and then if you’re betting $20 per hand. If both of you win, you both win. They keep the tip even if you both lose.

In a casino, the Worst Decisions You Can Make

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